About Me

Do you like sex and food? Have you ever found yourself in a compromising situation and thought "Hey, what the hell?' and just gone with it?" If you answered yes to either of these question then we can probably be friends.

Monday, July 25, 2011

"Yeah, touch it there." ..."WHAT?"

I do not have air conditioning.

Not even a window unit. I refuse to rack up that kind of electric bill. My bill is under $100 a month and I intend to keep it that way. Instead, we use window fans. These fans are great for two things. One, my neighbors seem to be afraid of them, so they don't come up to my window and talk to me anymore. Two, they make a lot of noise so my neighbors can't hear me when I'm having sex.

But they are also bad for two reasons:  I can't hear the tv so I have to crank it really loud. Sometimes the walls vibrate. Two, *I* can't hear me having sex because the fans are roaring so loudly.

Last night my husband and I were having sex and during missionary dirty talk is fine because I can sorta lip read what he's saying.

But doggy style...no fuckin' clue what he's saying. Can't hear a fuckin' THING. I know he's talking, though. Because like, there's the sound of his voice but I just can't make anything out.

So we're going at it and he's like, saying something that I'm sure is really dirty and hot and I have to turn around (and I am not the most graceful human being so I almost fell off the bed) and I'm like WHAT DID YOU SAY?

But I'm yelling loudly so he can hear my over the fans and he thinks I was turned off by what he said. So he's like "Oh...sorry. I just thought..."

Me:  No, no its cool. Whatever you said was cool. But what did you say?
HIM:  (sexy dirty talk)
Me:  *snicker* *giggle* (because YES, I am 23, have had sex thousands of times but I still crack up when a guy says 'balls.')

Then we went to bed.

This post was really bad. I'll make it funnier later.

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