About Me

Do you like sex and food? Have you ever found yourself in a compromising situation and thought "Hey, what the hell?' and just gone with it?" If you answered yes to either of these question then we can probably be friends.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

"Why do I end up with the weirdos?"

I have a friend who has a penchant for weirdos. Somehow she finds them. Or they find her.

Originally, I had planned to write an actual blog about this. Like, paragraphs, illustrations and everything. Instead, I'm just going to give you the notes. So here they go.

(this all happened last weekend, btw)


-Ash and drunk guy
-blue hair (her hair, not him0
-in a band (emo) (him, not her)
-uses hair straightener
-drank almost an entire liter of vodka-ZELKO VODKA
-i spent the entire time worried he was going to puke on the carpet or my stuff
-at one point he sat up and said 'i'm not sure what's going on' LOVELY
-he was good with kids-it was one of his redeeming qualities
-we kept asking 'how much did you drink?'
-we couldn't tell if he was crying or giggling. they sounded the same. i dont know about my friend, but i can't be dtf with a dude like that

he got totally tanked and slammed his head into the glass coffee table. there was a loud crack. then, he hid under the blankets. like we would forget about his drunk ass or something.

at this point, he had a crazy mood swing and turned into a dick. he was getting belligerent and went from making little sense to absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. i couldn't even figure it out and i speak drunken slurs fluently. he tried to kick my friend out of her apartment. then he kept asking 'what time is it?' and saying 'some people wanna sleep' but when she'd try to leave the living room he'd keep mumbling at her to come back.

what i've concluded based on this evening? i will never date a guy in an emo band, ever.

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